503-442-4364
07.13.2005 | 6:05 AM

LAST NIGHT I HOPPED ON THE BUS AND PAID AND SAT DOWN, RIGHT?
AND THEN THE BUS DRIVER CALLED ME BACK UP TO THE FRONT OF THE BUS AND ASKED ME WHY I WAS TRYING TO PASS AS AN ADULT...
AND I SAID, "BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT."
AND SHE DIDNT BELIEVE ME AND TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THE ADULT FARE IS MORE MONEY AND THAT I SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE DISCOUNT WHILE I WAS STILL UNDERAGE.
AND I SAID, "BUT IM 27."
AND SHE JUST KIND OF STARED AT ME INSTEAD OF HER EYES ON THE ROAD AND SAID, "HMM, YOU MUST DRINK LOTS OF GOOD WATER, HUH?"
YEAH, LOTS OF GOOD WATER...
AND WHEN I SAY WATER, I MEAN WHISKEY.
WAH. WAH. WAH.
SO I GOT A NEW PHONE #.
I WENT WITH THE CATHERINE ZETA-JONES PLAN BECAUSE THE JOAN CUSACK PLAN WAS TOTALLY FUCKING ME OVER.
HERES MY NEW #
503-442-4364.
CALL ME ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I MISS YOUR FUCKING FACE!